The Sheriff Came

So you want to take me back to a place I don’t go any more. So many things happened. All the money I had saved and put into the store was gone. We kept praying for things to change. We were always behind on our rents for the store and home. One day, the sheriff came and gave us ten minutes to take what we needed and evicted us from our home.

My dad rented a place for us. Our rent was always late. The sheriff came again. We were evicted again. We slept in the store until a friend sublet a place for us. Our rent was always late again and we got eviction notices again. Now things got worse. We couldn’t pay our phone bills and the phone service was cut off and I couldn’t sleep at night. I went to the doctor and asked for sleeping pills.

With everything going on, my husband was having an affair. I used to think it was just the two of us. I thought he loved me. I felt sad, used, embarrassed and hurt. I thought people saw me as being stupid. I cried all the time. Then, one morning, I was very sad. My husband went to the store, my six-year-old son was in the living room and I was in the bedroom. I felt I couldn’t live anymore. I took the sleeping pills. My son couldn’t wake me up. He went to a neighbor who called 911. The ambulance took me to the hospital and the pills were pumped from my body. I awoke in the hospital. I left my husband and went to live in a women’s shelter. 

I wasn’t thinking of my son. I would never do that to him again. I was young and stupid. 
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An Interview - A parent facing financial stress and marital problems

You can check out Dese'Rae's blog, she focuses on people who have attempted sucide. Here's the link: Live Through This
Here's a Wikipedia  link for help http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines - LINK
Here is the suicide prevention line for the US - 1 800 273 - 8255

21 comments:

  1. Life can be unbelievably tough at times. Sometimes suicide seems to be the only way out. It's not. This was good of you to offer the suicide phone number for those who may need it.

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    1. Getting through the touch times is important.

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  2. Life can be unbelievably tough at times. Sometimes suicide seems to be the only way out. It's not. This was good of you to offer the suicide phone number for those who may need it.

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  3. I actually live in a city with the highest rate of suicides in Europe. Especially the part of the city build upon an old swamp ground..... go figure.... I had suicide attempts in my family, so I know what it is all about

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    1. Dezmond, thanks for sharing. I wonder how much the suicide rate there affects others in making such decision.

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  4. Hi, Peaches. Thanks for stopping by my blog and commenting on my Surviving Blizzard post. You asked if I had ever read The Painted Door, and I hadn't. So I found it (by Sinclair Ross); it's illustrated with beautiful photographs of stark snowy landscapes. I glanced at the writing, and it's excellent. I'm anxious to read it. Thanks for telling me about it. The short story was my first love, then novels. (p.s. as for suicide....my second husband took his own life...I write about it in my memoir. Tough stuff.)

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    1. I was reminded of the story while reading your post.

      Wow, Ann. Here you are. So sad your husband took his life, but I can see you've managed to survive through the pain of that and everything else. I know I'll read your book.

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  5. I can't imagine being in a state of mind where death seems the only viable option :(

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    1. Michael, it's great to know how others cope. Maybe I could interview you about hope and happines.

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  6. Hi Peaches,

    Being an individual who struggles with depression myself I can relate. I have never actually attempted suicide but I have had the thoughts and thank goodness I reached out to my doctor for help. Thank you so much for sharing this, I think it is a good thing to talk about these things, because I find that so many people are able to talk about physical ailments and shy away from mental illness and I think we need to have more awareness in this area and not the stigma there seems to be.

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    1. Linda, I'm glad you have the strength to face that monstrous thought and not fall prey to it. Your cheerful posts helps to fend depression.

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  7. Hi Peaches,

    Being an individual who struggles with depression myself I can relate. I have never actually attempted suicide but I have had the thoughts and thank goodness I reached out to my doctor for help. Thank you so much for sharing this, I think it is a good thing to talk about these things, because I find that so many people are able to talk about physical ailments and shy away from mental illness and I think we need to have more awareness in this area and not the stigma there seems to be.

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  8. It's heartbreaking that so many attempt suicide.
    There is always help for those that need it!
    I have a friend that did call suicide prevention line, she is fine today!

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    1. I hope others find the courage to do that. Thanks for sharing, Margie.

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  9. The saddest part of teenage suicide is that they often think it's a temporary solution. They don't think it through enough to know they're not coming back!! So sad!! But when you're mentally ill, of course your judgement is impaired big time.

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    1. That's really what it is: impaired judgement.

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  10. This was very intense, and sadly, it's not uncommon. My heart breaks for anyone who feels the need to end their own life, and for their friends and family who are left behind.

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    1. It is intense, Shelly, but it is necessary to bring awareness so we can all help to save lives.

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  11. Stories like these make me speechless, because I can feel all the pain behind them and it takes my breath away. Thank you for posting abuot such a difficult topic and for providing the help at the end of your post!

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    1. Hi Beate, let us make a conscious effort to educate others about sucide. I noticed it was mentioned a couple time last night on the Grammy.

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These are our stories. Thank you for your kind comment and laugh as often as you can. Peaches D. Ledwidge, author of Day Laughs Night Cries: Fifteen