Everything Stopped

“He moved in with her. She stayed home, cooked and washed for him while he went to work. Then she got pregnant. He asked her to have an abortion because his work assignment was almost over and he had to move back to where he lived before. Mama said she would keep me and my father gave her two names: one for a boy and one for a girl.

"I got the girl’s name. Mama said he sent her letters and money for a few months after I was born. Then everything stopped. Mama kept sending letters but there was no reply. When I was eighteen, she gave me the letters he wrote, a faded light blue boxers and an undershirt that had changed from white to brown. There was no picture of him. When I asked her what he looked like, she said my image of my face is the image of his face.

"After having my own family, I was curious to know my father. My husband and I found his address in Maryland—he was married—and we got his number from a cousin. I didn’t have the courage to call my father, as I felt nervous. My friend agreed to talk for me. When he answered the phone, she told him about my mother and about me. She told him I was listening.

“Lady, I don’t know you,” he said.

“But you are her father. She’s your daughter,” my friend said.

“Lady, I don’t know you. Don’t call this number again.”

I hang up the phone.

“Call him again,” my friend said.

“No,” I said, “I’m embarrassed.”

I’ll never know my father. That’s OK.  I’m happy my children have a father they know and a father that loves them. They are my family.
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This is Maggie's (psuedonym) story. If you have a non-fiction story you'd like to share, please read the Share Your Story page. 

36 comments:

  1. Her moma is to blame too... you just don't have kids with the first man that comes around....

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    1. Things are always more complicated than they seem on the surface. The daughter wanted nothing from him, just to see his face.

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  2. I'd have been crushed by his response too. I've always earned my money and always will, therefore ...

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  3. I echo Dezmond's comment. Thanks so much for all you share, I enjoy your posts.

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    1. Linda, thanks for letting me know you enjoy the posts.

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  4. That's sad. I'm sorry you didn't get to know your father. He certainly missed out on getting to know the wonderful person you are!

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    1. Not me, Sherry, but it could have been. I guess.

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  5. That's sad. I'm sorry you didn't get to know your father. He certainly missed out on getting to know the wonderful person you are!

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  6. Wow. I feel sad for the daughter. This was a very real post. Thanks for sharing Maggie's story.

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    1. She's gotten over it but doesn't like to talk about the experience.

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  7. Heart-wrenching, Peaches. His loss, but he won't feel it the way the daughter does.

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    1. He wouldn't care because he probably won't miss a child he's never met.

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  8. This is so sad for both Maggie and her father. What a great forum for people to share their stories Peaches!

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    1. Yes, Denise, I hope for more people to share. The response has been positive so far.

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  9. "Maggie" shouldn't feel bad. There are thousands, maybe millions, just like her across the world. If a man won't honor his responsibilities, he's not worth getting to know anyway. My story is much like hers.

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  10. Sad and heart-wrenching post. But blood relations are way overrated. Often that's all there is to a relationship (that blood tie), and people who are with you at the moment are the ones to cherish. Hugs!

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    1. "But blood relations are way overrated." - Great point, Carol.

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  11. He was a father but he was never a daddy. Carol called it - just because you're related doesn't mean you have to like or love that person.

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  12. A história de Maggie é triste, mas há muitas pessoas no mundo que vivem ou viveram histórias semelhantes e que tiveram forças para seguirem em frente, construindo a própria família e dando a elas o amor que não tiveram.

    Obrigada pela visita e pelo carinho.

    Beijo.

    Maggie's story is sad, but there are many people in the world who live or have lived similar stories and had the strength to move forward, to make a family and giving them the love they had not.

    Thank you for visiting and for caring.

    Kiss.

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    1. That's what she did. Gave love to her family.

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  13. Most definitely your father's loss...he's missing out on an amazing person...

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    1. It's not me, but she's an amazing person too.

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  14. That's such a shame. How could he not want to even know your existence?

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    1. Mine is a different stroy, but the same goes for Maggie's father.

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  15. Hi Peaches, I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you and sending you a hug.

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    1. Thanks for checking in, Linda. I was away.

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  16. I have a friend who doesn't know her father but knows where he lives in another state. She, too, is too embarrassed to try to contact him, fearful of the outcome. If if were me, I think that I would find some way to see him but not revealing my identity. But... it's not me, so I couldn't possibly know what I'd do.

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    1. I try to think of the ways I would have tried. I guess calling was convenient because they lived in different states.

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  17. Histórias que podem e muito bem servir de lições de vida para seguir enfrente.
    Bj

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  18. Very inspirational and what an amazing gift he must be to his family. I am also a mother of developmental delayed son and I appreciate the honesty in this blog.

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These are our stories. Thank you for your kind comment and laugh as often as you can. Peaches D. Ledwidge, author of Day Laughs Night Cries: Fifteen